I Should've Loved Myself First

 I should’ve fought harder for me.

I should’ve stood up and fought for myself.

I should’ve fought for my worth, my smile, my peace of mind, and my happiness.

I should’ve not let it get this far to where I don’t feel like me anymore.

I should’ve never let it get to the point that I felt without you, I was nothing.

They say you should learn to love yourself before you love anyone else. I used to hate that saying with everything in my body. Used to make me feel like because if I didn’t love myself no one else could find me worthy enough to love, but that’s not true.

I’m starting to understand it. I should’ve loved myself first, so no one could ever walk in and do what they did to me. I should’ve loved myself first so that the first red flag or sign, I would have run as fast as I could because I knew I didn't deserve these certain situations.

I should’ve loved myself first, so that I wouldn’t have found myself in a situation, begging and pleading for another human being to love me and respect me, and not abuse me. I should’ve loved myself, but I didn’t. I became so reliant on you for everything that had to do with me.

I don’t regret it, though as much pain, as I am in right now, and from the trauma you left me with, I don’t regret you or anything that we went through. I should’ve done better by me for me. I should’ve loved myself first and fought for me harder.

Concrete Angle

You will get through this.