I wish someone would have told me that sacrificing my boundaries in the name of empathy wasn't noble. I wish they would have warned me that it would make someone a safehouse for their demons.
I believe empathy should be taught.
That we should put yourself in other people's shoes and see the hurt they were given that made them hurt you and also understand that you still don't deserve what they're doing or done. Their scars are still no excuse for the wounds they gave you and the hurt.
Thier ability to heal is something you cannot fix. If you decide to stay and continue to let them treat you in these unacceptable ways. Then you are given them excuses and a safe place for their darkness. When you should be trying to demand them to do better. By allowing them the only thing you are teaching them is that you will put up with it.
We all want to live in a world where people don't hurt people or hate, but the reality is that it has to start with you standing up for yourself and not accepting disrespect, abuse or betrayal.
Sometimes you have to walk away, and decide to heal... by walking away you also choose to take the darkness that the world gave you and still try and find the light and be there for others... You also decide to choose kindness despite all the pain you received by someone you loved.
But don't think that you failed you loved them with your soul and heart. You are and were brave in spite of all the red flags that you saw. In spite of all the warning signs that were in front of you. You tried to love someone that was broken, you tried to heal them anyway you could as many times as you showed up for them and stood by them as many times as you tried to help them, they still abused you.
It just means that you have a big heart it also means you love harder than most people and you invest yourself and gave 100% . You gave it your all heart and soul.
The problem was you gave it to the wrong person, so don't look at it as a failure it just shows your able to love someone even when they hurt you and causing you pain. You were also able to love someone and look past the pain they caused you. Thats how much you were able to love and that's a wonderful thing not everyone can do that.
You are so selfless because you were able to love someone that hurt you so deeply so don't think for one minute that it makes you weak or stupid.
It actually made you stronger. it actually made you who you are today.
Its ok you're not alone so stand strong and be proud .
Concrete Angel
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