Trust me: They are aware but don't care.

They just don’t want to acknowledge.

They can’t understand how everything that they thought would destroy you could have somehow been used to develop you.

They can’t understand all the tactics and schemes they thought would bruise your reputation, turn around and build your character and credibility.

They don’t get it, and that’s exactly why they don’t have it...

My guess is that very few emotionally abusive men would own that abusive label.  They’d argue that they were ‘driven’ to their bad behavior by their partner’s shortcoming.  They’d argue that they’re just regular guys, driven to whatever lengths they go to by the unreasonable, endless PROVOCATION of a needy, difficult, and ungrateful partner.

They would cast themselves as the victim of the piece: “How can you possibly blame me for being driven to distraction by this witch who is unworthy to share my home, my bed, and my bank account etc. etc.?

Some of them might admit that their behavior has dropped, momentarily, below their alleged, normal high standards.  But they admit it only with a view to reclaiming the moral high ground. Anyone who is prepared to admit their own occasional shortcomings must be pretty good, right?

What I know for sure is this: emotionally abusive partners consciously and deliberately set out to hurt, humiliate and control their partners.  They see that as the best way to go about satisfying their own emotional needs.  They see what they do as creating a relationship that satisfies their need for power and control over another human being.

So, the dilemma remains:  do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive?

And the answer is: When women ask, “Do emotionally abusive men know they are abusive?” they’re asking the wrong question.

Emotionally abusive men don’t embrace your perspective and your values.  It’s like that old song: “you like tomatoes and I like tomaaatoes”: abusive men have a different take on their behavior. They honestly don’t see anything wrong with it.  Even if they apologize at the time, their abiding memory will be of responding appropriately to your appalling behavior. In the end, an emotionally abusive man is always in the right, and his partner is always in the wrong.

Simple as that.

Emotionally abusive men don’t care.  

Concrete Angel