It’s a question many people ask themselves after ending a relationship with a narcissist. Why did I stay so long? Why did I put up with their constant put-downs, their Gaslighting, their manipulative behavior?

There are many reasons why people stay in relationships with narcissists. Sometimes it’s because the narcissist is charming and charismatic at the start of the relationship. Other times, it’s because the narcissist has threatened to hurt them or their loved ones if they try to leave.
Sometimes, it’s simply because the person doesn’t realize they’re in a relationship with a narcissist. They may not be aware of the signs of narcissism, or they may be in denial about the severity of the narcissist’s behavior.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that you are not to blame for the narcissist’s behavior. You are not responsible for their actions, and you can’t control them. The only thing you can do is take care of yourself and make the decision to leave the relationship.

When I thought about this, I thought, “oh well, I guess this is all there is for me.” That set me on the path of making the best of what I have. As an empath, I despised my common law partner/husband low moods and rages. When an abused victim develops unhealthy attachments to their abuser, this causes them to form a trauma bond. As a result of narcissistic relationships, abuse is frequently avoided with little or no reward. When he was a nightmare, my feelings for him were extremely hurt. In the end, he would manipulate his way out of every shitty situation he had created – and he was extremely skilled at it.

Narcissists are prone to narcissistic traits such as over-intriguing, harsh criticism, and a lack of empathy, which can make it difficult to maintain a close relationship with them. In any case, if your partner is unwilling to work on their narcissistic tendencies, you are probably best-off leaving.

The study found that grandiose narcissists are more likely to engage in jealousy to gain power and control, exact revenge on their partner, test and strengthen the relationship, seek security, and compensate for low self-esteem. On the other hand, vulnerable narcissists are more likely to engage in jealousy.

A long-term relationship with a narcissist is possible, but it is often fraught with difficulties. A narcissist is someone who is excessively self-centered and obsessed with their own appearance and achievements. This can make it difficult for them to truly understand and care about the needs and feelings of their partner. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you may find yourself feeling unimportant, invisible, and even worthless. You may also find yourself constantly walking on eggshells, trying to avoid triggering your partner’s anger or hurt feelings. While it is possible to have a long-term relationship with a narcissist, it is often a difficult and challenging one.

First and foremost, it is important to remember that no two people will experience Narcissistic Abuse exactly the same way, so there is no one-size-fits-all solution.  Keep in mind that each stage of the cycle is divided into four parts. In many cases, a narcissist will initiate the cycle again in order to teach their target to return. The second point to make is that narcissists do not change; psychologists, therapists, and neuroscientists all agree that narcissists do not change. It is due to the narcissist’s mental disorder that he or she cannot control his or her actions, which are harmful to others. narcissists do not have the ability to maintain a relationship indefinitely because they value the benefits of it above all else. As a result, the narcissist will often use their target in order to gain a competitive advantage, resulting in a cycle of abuse that will never end. 

 It is critical to remember that narcissistic abuse cannot be attributed to the victim.  A victim should speak up if he or she is being treated unfairly, and no one deserves to be treated this way. If you or someone you know is being abused by a narcissist, you should seek professional help. You deserve the assistance you require to get through this difficult time, and there are resources available.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE

Concrete Angel

Reference : Mental Health matters.com