Emotional Abuse Recovery Tips

It can take time to heal from an emotionally abusive relationship, Williams says. A mental health professional can help you recover. But there are also strategies you can use on your own to regain your footing.

Write it all down

I encourage people to start journaling their reality it helped me. A classic strategy for emotional abusers is to make you doubt yourself. So, write down everything — what you did, what you said, what you’re feeling.

By keeping a record of your life, you can look back when you’re doubting yourself. Confirming that your memories match with that record will help you trust yourself more.

Stop blaming yourself

If you’ve experienced emotional abuse, you might have absorbed the (untrue) message that it’s somehow your fault or that you deserve it. Think again.

“It’s not about you. It’s about the abuser’s need to control you.  “Remind yourself — over and over, if necessary — that it isn’t your fault.”

Don’t engage

If you’re in a situation where you still need to interact with an emotional abuser, try to step back. It’s not always easy — remember, they’re trying to get a reaction out of you. But you don’t have to give them that satisfaction.

“See what happens if you don’t respond. Don’t argue. Don’t apologize. “Choosing not to engage is one of the most powerful things you can do.”

Question your “normal”

If you grew up in an emotionally volatile home, you might think yelling, intimidating and shaming are normal. “But what you’re used to isn’t necessarily what’s healthy.  Taking some time to reflect and question what you think is normal.

Learn to trust

Emotional abuse can leave its stamp on you. People who experienced emotional abuse may fall into similar behavior patterns as adults. One common reaction is to distrust others.

Intimacy is so scary, you want to run in the opposite direction. But there are plenty of good, kind people out there. Once you spot your trouble with trusting, you can start to chip away at it and begin to let people into your world.

Put yourself on your to-do list

People who grew up in emotionally abusive homes often become people- pleasers. If love was conditional when you were growing up, you might always feel the need to prove your worth.

But if you’re taking care of everyone around you — physically, emotionally, even financially — you can get overwhelmed. Don’t forget to take care of your needs, too.”

Ask for help

It’s a natural tendency to downplay the effects of emotional abuse. People often think if they’re not feeling extreme pain, they should be able to deal with it on their own.

But asking for help is a form of self-compassion. If you’re trying to move on from an emotionally abusive relationship, there’s no shame in seeking professional help. Once you start to recognize emotional abuse, it can help to have someone coaching you through it.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE..