Relationships are all about the give and take, but often that is just not the case. If you are a naturally loving and affectionate person, you might find yourself giving more than your partner. Does this sound like you?

You might not even think about it because of your thoughtful and accommodating nature. You are just there for your partner whenever they need you, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Unfortunately, being super giving can and usually does backfire on people like this because you might find that your partner isn’t giving you as much in return.

Putting more effort than the other person can start to cause real problems in relationships. 

 

A relationship is meant to fulfill the needs of both partners; love and being loved. But some relationships will make you feel lonely even when you are directly by the person you are with. You begin to let your partner depend on you so much that you rush to their side every time they need you, no matter how small the issue is. Then when you need something, they have excuses or lies to give you.

You no longer feel like yourself.

If you are compromising on issues such as whether or not to go to the gym or how often you should hang out with your friends without your partner, you might be giving too much. You had a lot of interests and people that you love and now you might start to find yourself with none of those things. In the process of being a people pleaser you might have sacrificed all the things that were once important to you.

You find yourself constantly trying to justify your worth even when it should be obvious.

You might find yourself constantly in your head about how much you are doing for your partner or how often you are there to hold things together. Anytime you must justify your worth to anchor your own value, your relationship is seriously out of balance.

You feel guilty when you have to say no to your partner

Most people say no at least 5 times a day without ever having to say sorry or feel bad about it. It shows that you acknowledge your own needs, and you are willing to stand up for yourself. But sometimes in relationships you might find that you feel forced to do things for your partner or that your partner makes you feel guilty for not wanting to do something even when you are uncomfortable with it. This can really start to suck out your energy and emotional strength.

Your partner doesn’t make you a priority or integrate you into their lives

You are a loving and caring person who tries to put as much effort into making your partner feel special as you can. However, you find that your partner is not making you a priority in their life. They do not make an effort to introduce you to the important people in their lives even if you have been together for a long time. They don’t act like they care about your thoughts and opinions or they halfway listen when you are trying to talk.

You are Mr/Mrs. Fix it

If you are doing all of the emotional work, and the actual work around the house then something is wrong. An emotionally immature partner will expect you to do everything for them. You will have to ask them numerous times to do something, and if they do it, they will do so grudgingly and will try to make you feel as guilty as possible.

You aren’t getting what you want

The cold, hard truth about life is that you don’t always get the things that you want. But if you are constantly not satisfied in your relationship, or if your partner is ruling over everything, you are probably compromising too much of yourself.

You are tired both emotionally and physically

You look tired. You feel tired. No matter how much you sleep, you just cannot shake this feeling of exhaustion. Not only are you physically tired, but emotionally you are just exhausted. You cannot rest your way out of emotional exhaustion! But you will probably try.

You are afraid to say anything about your feelings to your partner because you fear they will unplug completely from your relationship.

When someone really loves you, they will never walk away. If the power dynamic in your relationship is that out of whack that you are scared to talk to your partner, then there is something seriously wrong.

You will start to resent your partner

If you don’t realize how much you are compromising in your relationship, you could end up feeling angry or even resentful towards your partner. And, the truth is, resentment is much like a poison to the psyche that will continue to erode your own confidence in having your needs met and feeling respected and honored. If you are annoyed or frustrated with your partner and cannot understand why, then you are compromising too much.

Please remember that your relationship should be about give and take. Your emotional and physical needs are important, and it is never worth compromising your emotional stability.

Talk to your partner and let them know how you feel, and if they care they will be there to help you work through the problems that have arisen.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE CONCRETE ANGELS

Love all by itself is simple — it’s people and circumstances that make it complicated. Falling in love means you’re opening yourself up to someone and letting yourself be vulnerable, and that inevitably leaves you open to possible heartbreak. Even if someone promises they’ll never hurt you, and does everything they can to avoid it, you just never know. Loving someone requires a lot of faith and when that faith is shaken it can be a hard thing to bounce back from.

1. You’re vulnerable.Falling in love means you’re putting your heart in someone else’s hands and giving them the opportunity to hurt you. If you never let yourself, be vulnerable, you’d never get hurt. But you’d also never really fall in love either.
2. You give them too many chances.It’s bad enough when someone you love disappoints you once, but if you give them another chance and they disappoint you again, it’s even worse. It may be hard to give up on them, but eventually you have to accept that you can’t keep going back to someone who will never change.
3. You expect more from them.You aren’t dumb, so if you love them, they must be worthy, right? You expect them to continue to be worth loving, which is why it hurts even more when it turns out they aren’t who you thought they were.
4. You took a chance on them.Falling in love might feel like something you can’t help, but if you really didn’t want to fall, you wouldn’t. You’d always be holding back. But you chose not to do that with them. You chose to let them in, which is always a risk. Of course, it’s going to be disappointing when that risk doesn’t pay off.
5. If you didn’t care, they couldn’t hurt you.Pretty self-explanatory.
6. You trusted them more than anyone.At one point you probably thought they’d be the last person in the world who would ever hurt you, which is how you were able to trust them so explicitly. The betrayal hurts that much more when you never saw it coming.
7. You blame yourself for trusting them.Even if you could never have predicted they would hurt you, you’ll still feel like you should have known it would happen. You’ll tell yourself you should have been more careful, and you’ll vow to never trust someone so easily again. The baggage they leave you with is almost worse than the actual betrayal itself.
8. They use your feelings against you.They probably managed to string you along or fool you into believing in them because they knew you cared about them. Maybe you’d given them too many chances already, and they knew you’d do it again. It’s hard to deal with loving someone even though you know you shouldn’t.
9. They think they don’t deserve your love.Sometimes it has nothing to do with you and it’s just them not believing they’re worth having your love. They’d rather push you away and hurt you in an attempt to protect you than take the chance of getting hurt themselves.
10. You saw a future with them.When you lose a person you love, you also lose the future you’d thought you’d have together. Now you have to give up on the present them and also the person you thought you’d be with for a long time. It’s not easy to start all over when you thought you’d finally found The One.

YOU ARE NOT ALONE CONCRETE ANGELS
 

TO ALL MY CONCRETE ANGELS AROUND THE WORLD…THROUGH MY EYES

I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. Strong. Determined. Brave. Hardworking. Loving. Funny. Compassionate. Caring. I wish you had the ability to see how much good I see in you - how much potential - how much drive. I wish more than anything that I could make you see how wonderfully you are and how much good you possess. Even after the heartache and the abuse you’re still standing and fighting for your life and trying to find yourself again.

I wish you knew how much my heartaches to hear you talk about your situation and so much negatively about yourself that someone made you feel …it wasn’t your fault in what life gave you. If you only knew how hard it is to hear some of you constantly put yourself down, lower yourself worth, or think you are not good enough or you feel that you will not amount to anything because someone mentally played with your mind that someone made you lose site of the beauty in you.   I wish I could hug you until you realize just how loved you are and how much strength you really have.

You mean more to me than you will ever know I hear your voice, your stories, and tears because I am no different than you.  I am thankful that we get to share our stories and our experience for many will never understand or believe.  With you every day I am reminded that out of the hardest and most difficult situations, the human spirit can begin again. You have also encouraged me every day to use my ashes to rebuild and recreate myself.

If you could see yourself through my eyes than you would see someone who is kind, and strong. If you could see yourself through my eyes than you would see someone who is loving. If you could see yourself through my eyes than you would see someone who is brave. If you could see yourself through my eyes than you would see someone who is more hardworking than anyone I have ever met and a fighter and refuses to give up.

I wish that I could make you see just how incredible of a person you are. Every day I wish that I could show you and make you feel just how loved you are.

Through our experiences, both good and bad, you have taught me more about life than anyone I have ever met before. You have taught me that despite our circumstances, our upsets, and our successes, and failures we can continue. You have taught me that in the face of absolute desolation and heartbreak, we can pick up the pieces and keep going- no matter how impossible it seems. You have taught me that even when everything seems to be going great, we need to be proud of our accomplishments, but acknowledge that life isn't always going to be this sweet, so we need to remain humble and hopeful. 

 If for one day you could see yourself through my eyes, then you would truly see the incredible, hardworking, and resilient person you are. You would see someone who has withstood more pain and heartbreak than most, but you would also see someone that gathered their broken pieces and kept going. You would see someone that lives with the scars that life has inflicted upon them but continues to fight on when most would have given up.

If I could give you one thing, I would give you my eyes for just one day. Then, you would be able to see the amazing person I see.

Tuesday D’Eon- Thank you for all the stories and emails

Concrete Angel

 

All she wanted was unpredictable kisses and unforgettable laughter.

 

 I demolish my bridges behind me…then there is no choice but to move forward.

Deep within us — no matter who we are — their lives a feeling of wanting to be lovable, of wanting to be the kind of person that others like to be with. And the greatest thing we can do is to let people know that they are loved and capable of loving.

 

 You are welcome to walk with me, to join me on my journey, but know this, there is nothing causal about the way that I Love. When I cry you will dance in my storm, when I laugh you will burn in my fire. And when we kiss you will drown in my soul.

My depths are littered with the ruins of those who could not navigate my currents. The waters of my spirit are a graveyard for those who love shallow. Do not set foot in my ocean unless you are ready to swim.

Kalen Dion

Concrete Angel