It will cost you later.

 Imagine meeting someone who is interesting to talk to, so much so that you are enthralled with their conversation. The more they talk, the more you’re drawn in and they seem like they have it all together. They’re very easy to talk to because they’re very charming and charismatic. But after a while of talking with them, you get this gut feeling that something isn’t right with this person but you just can’t put your finger on it. That gut instinct that’s telling you that something is wrong is there for a reason so don’t ignore it!! That gut instinct that tells you something is wrong is generally on point & it’s a response to red flags that are present. Ignoring red flags now can cost you later.

Red flags are meant to warn you that there is imminent danger ahead if you continue to proceed. We have all seen a red flag somewhere, such as in a yard indicating that there are underground lines, wires, or cables in this area, and you should not dig unless you contact someone for assistance or guidance. All red flags indicate that you should proceed with caution and be on the lookout. Red flags can occur in the workplace, personal friendships, or romantic relationships and these are sometimes ignored. We have all ignored red flags, the ones that we couldn’t quite put our fingers on, but we proceeded anyway and eventually got hurt. I am guilty of this as much or more so than the next person, and let me tell you, it’s not something I will ever ignore again.

You are not alone

Concrete Angel

Reference: RUN GIRL RUN

I’m doing the best I can.

 

If you want to feel confident, remember you’re trying your best and avoid being overly critical. Often, we become our own worst enemies by analyzing ourselves too harshly. Of course, checking in with yourself is fine to see if you’re on the right track. But at the end of the day, we’re all doing our best with our current knowledge and experience. So, recite this mantra when you lose faith in yourself, and you’ll instantly feel stronger.

I’m doing the best I can.

You are not alone

Concrete Angel

Taking A Break from Dating

Dating can be exciting and fun, but it can also be exhausting. Sometimes the best thing you can do is take a break, and some singles prefer it this way.

Finding the person, you want to fall in love with is hard and a big commitment. It’s even harder if you’ve experienced heartbreak in the past or abuse, making you want to guard your feelings. Finding your person sometimes requires taking a break from dating so that you can heal from your past.

Going on endless dates looking for the right person can sometimes be demoralizing. You might lose yourself in rejection, waiting for texts, awkward conversations, and other things that can knock your self-esteem. Some singles want to take a break to recover from these situations and focus on themselves.

There are many reasons some people want to take a break. These reasons can include the following:

A Break From Dating Improves Their Chances of Finding a Healthy Relationship

Experiencing too much negativity or stress with dating can lead to not showing the best version of yourself. You might miss out on a great person because you had a negative mindset during the date.

When you keep having bad dates, it can cause disappointment, rejection, and awkwardness. Taking a break can help you release those emotions and regain hope. Then, when you’re ready to find love, you’ll be more open and make a better effort.

It Renews Their Spirit

Dating can make you depressed if it seems nothing works out for you. If you start to feel this way, it might be best to take a break. Taking a break allows you to renew your spirit and helps you experience emotional and mental fulfillment.

A Break From Dating Helps Them Heal and Learn What They Want

Taking a break can help you heal from trauma and see what you want. After getting out of a long-term relationship, experts suggest taking a break before putting yourself back out there. It gives you a chance to heal and understand what you want in a relationship.

A break can provide clarity, giving space to focus on the essential things. Spending time alone allows you to learn about yourself. Plus, it gives you time to figure out who your ideal partner is.

They Learn How to Be Comfortable on Their Own

When you spend time alone, you learn to be comfortable with yourself. You’ll know when you should figure things out and how to handle them without an external influence. It also allows you to feel and process your emotions, promoting overall well-being.

Being alone helps you learn to love yourself, making it easier to love someone else. You can work on self-love, healing, growth, and becoming the best version of yourself.

A Break From Dating Makes Getting into a Relationship Easier

Spend time alone to focus on other essential aspects of your life, including your career, family, friends, or home. When the right person comes along later, you’ll already have the rest of your life in place.

Focusing on the other parts of your life helps you understand when you’ll be ready and when it’s the right time. The relationship process is easier when everything else seems settled the way you want. It can also help you understand when someone isn’t good for you, helping you choose a better option when the time comes.

If you keep dating when you should take a break, it can prevent you from finding a good person for you. You might not recognize them when you meet them, making choices out of habit rather than doing what’s best. Taking a break allows you to recognize when someone is different from others and when they might be a good fit for your life.

They Can Do Whatever They Want to Do

When you’re single, you can do whatever you want to do. This experience means you can focus on planning trips you’ve always dreamed of, learning a new skill, or doing anything else that inspires you. Being single allows you to do these things without discussing with someone else or upsetting them when you want time alone.

Being in a relationship can prevent you from doing some of these things, as you’ll have to consider another person. The cost of taking someone with you increases, and they might not want to do the things you dream of. Being single gives you the opportunity for anything that comes to mind.

Not only do you have to factor in another person when you’re in a relationship, but you also must spend time with them. Plus, you’ll sometimes worry about things not going well and interfering with other areas of your life. It leads to adapting parts of your life that you enjoy accommodating another person.

A Break From Dating Helps Them Save Money

Dating takes money, with studies showing that it can cost over $1,000 yearly for a single person to date regularly. If you don’t find the right person to settle down with, you’ll continue paying for dates and doing things to impress others. Taking a break allows you to save money and improve other areas of your life.

Spending Less Time on Their Phone

Taking a break from dating also allows you to spend less time on your phone. Dating often involves messages and online apps, taking precious moments where you could have focused on something else. You can take some time to enjoy your life without worrying about missing communication from a potential partner.

To Focus on Personal Growth

Dating can interfere with personal growth because it requires focusing on relationships and meeting new people. Sometimes it leads to trying to force unhealthy relationships, interfering with more of your time and energy.

Trying to make relationships work doesn’t allow you to become a better version of yourself. However, taking a break leaves time to focus on yourself, build your skills, and heal from trauma.

Nineteen Signs You Need a Break from Dating

Some signs can help you recognize when you need a break from dating, helping you put your well-being first. These signs might include the following:

1.        disappointment after every date

2.     feeling that no one will live up to your expectations

3.     insecurity

4.     questioning your decision-making skills

5.     feeling like you’ve already dated everyone

6.     dreading going on another date

7.      feeling overwhelmed by the idea of meeting another person

8.     wanting to give up on love

9.     feeling like dating consumes your life

10.  feeling scared of being single

11.     not healing from past hurt

12.   assuming the worst about everyone you meet

13.   dreading looking at your phone

14.  feeling like you need time alone for a while

15.  losing sleep over thinking about it

16.  feeling like you’re doing a chore when looking for a partner

17.   lacking focus on other parts of your life

18.  taking things personally

19.  questioning your self-worth

Six Things You Can Do When Taking a Break from Dating

Taking a break from dating can leave you with more free time. Finding things to do during that time can help you resist the urge to return to looking for a potential partner. Some of the things you can fill your time with include the following:

1.        Learn something new: Commit some time each day to learning something new. Learning can help you feel satisfied with yourself and promotes personal growth. You’ll feel more confident in yourself by the end of your hiatus when you’ve spent the time bettering yourself.

2.     Date yourself: Taking a break from other meeting new people doesn’t mean you can’t enjoy time out. You can take yourself on a date, get dressed up, and go somewhere you enjoy. It helps build confidence and resist the fear of judgment.

3.     Say “yes” to other experiences: When you’re not committed to dating in your free time, you can agree to other experiences. You won’t have to turn down invites from friends or co-workers because you can focus on doing what you want.

4.     Practice meditation: Practicing meditation is a beneficial option to fill your free time, especially when trying to avoid dating. Mindfulness meditation can help you become aware of yourself and your inner thoughts.

5.     Go for a walk: Going for a walk allows you to get fresh air while exercising. It’ll improve your overall well-being and help you fill your time with something other than dates.

6.     Take a road trip or vacation: You can do anything you want when not focusing on meeting new partners. Visit all the places you’ve always dreamed of and get to know yourself better while you do it.

Final Thoughts

Dating can be fun, but it can also be emotionally, mentally, and physically draining. You don’t have to stop forever, but taking a break can help you recover and think about what you want.

After a break, you can return to dating with a renewed spirit and positive mindset. Plus, you might find the person you want to spend time with without trying. Focusing on yourself offers many benefits, and you never know what will come from it.

You are not alone

Concrete Angel

 

Reference: www.powerofpositivity.com

Behaviors That Reveal Someone Doesn’t Care

 

It’s never nice to find out that the behaviors of someone close to you reveal that they don’t care. It’s even worse if you’ve wasted your time on that person when they weren’t interested in building a connection. This is why it’s better to look for the actions that tell you when someone doesn’t care.

Because if you don’t, you risk being blindsided. You might even get your hopes up and create fantasies of how perfect your relationship will be when that will never happen. And this can happen whether we’re discussing a platonic or romantic relationship. A friend can even pretend to care or hang out with you even when they can’t even be bothered to give you the time of day.

Whether it’s a family member, a friend, or a romantic partner, you never want to believe that the people you care for don’t feel the same. It’s an idea that most people never even entertain. Even those who think about it are only overthinking and letting their anxiety control their thoughts. But unfortunately, some people genuinely don’t care.

And, even then, they might still hang out with you out of convenience. Some people even go as far as sticking around out of malice or because they are toxic or abusive. An abusive partner doesn’t truly care for you. But they’ll stay because they enjoy having someone to torment. And, even though this sounds horrible, it’s the truth.

Actions speak louder than words, and the people who don’t care will show it through their behavior. Even though they’ll never admit it, their actions will give them away.

Their Behaviors Suggest How They Don’t Truly Know You

People who genuinely care about you will be excited to learn everything there is to know about you. Even if they don’t know every little detail, they still know you and some of your core traits. For example, not everyone feels comfortable sharing their whole life with their parents.

Maybe they don’t want to chit-chat about their romantic endeavors at dinner with the family. But that doesn’t mean your parents don’t know you. They probably know you better than anyone else, even though they don’t know how many shots you can handle at a party. They know what your dreams are and what you value most in life. And they will always be excited to learn more.

The same is true for your friends and romantic interests. If they genuinely care, they will always want to learn things about you. They’ll know your favorite foods or how you make your coffee. And they will probably know how quickly you get tipsy when you go out. Someone who doesn’t care won’t know these things. They might not even know obvious things, such as your eyes’ color. Sure, they will pretend to know things.

But their knowledge will be superficial and limited. They might know a song you like, but that’s about it. So, just because someone knows a few insignificant details doesn’t mean you should swoon over them. Trust your instincts and keep an eye on specific actions or behaviors. If they don’t even bother to ask you a question about yourself, you shouldn’t bother with them.

Their Actions Appear That They Don’t Put in Any Effort

Sometimes, it’s active behaviors that are red flags. But passive behavior is just as bad. In this case, when someone doesn’t try to do anything nice for you and doesn’t put in any effort, that’s a bad sign. Sure, they might go out to dinner when you plan everything. Or they might text you when you text them first. But you should ask yourself if they ever take the initiative and try to do something for you.

If you ever hang out only when you ask them to, that’s probably because they wouldn’t mind not seeing you again. Or maybe they do text you sometimes, but they are only content with doing the bare minimum. They don’t ever ask you to go somewhere nice, or they never plan anything other than a casual hangout. This is not enough, even from a family member or a friend. Any relationship requires special moments, so both parties must put in some effort.

When someone truly cares about you, they will actively show it. They’ll want to make an effort to make you happy. Even if they are busy, they’ll still try their hardest to meet you and at least have a coffee. Or, if you’re romantically involved with someone, they’ll surprise you and prepare a nice date night. No matter your relationship with someone, you’ll know if they care by watching their behaviors and seeing if they take the initiative.

They Don’t Communicate

Next time you want to test someone, don’t text them and see how long they take to text you. Some people you talk to are just there because you always communicate with them. This also is related to how much effort someone puts in, but it’s not the same. Not getting texts from your friends and family is an obvious red flag.

But some people in your life will refuse to communicate, even though they might keep in touch. Some people refuse to take about heavier stuff and are just content with cracking a joke or two when you meet. As you probably know, relationships are based on communication. So, when someone doesn’t stay in touch or open, that will affect your relationship.

That said, if someone can’t open, that doesn’t always mean they don’t trust you. Some behaviors can point towards that, but you must notify the nuances. If they flat-out refuse to communicate things like where they are or to give you answers to simple questions, that’s shady. If they don’t reach out or constantly shut down discussions, that’s not something you should accept. But if they are just scared to open up, then it’s understandable why they’d keep to themselves.

They Engage in Angry Behavior for No Reason

One of the worst behaviors people engage in is getting angry, especially when they don’t care to control it. Sure, some people are more predisposed to being angry. But if they are good people, they will work towards managing that anger. At least they’ll do it for the people they care for. But, if someone doesn’t care about you, that will show in their actions.

Especially when they start getting angry at you for no apparent reason, they will scream, shout, and indulge in harmful actions to make you feel bad. People who don’t care about you will tend to have a weirdly competitive and defensive attitude. So, they will blow things out of proportion when an issue arises instead of trying to solve the problem. And they will attack and demean you without giving it a second thought.

When someone truly cares about you, they’ll try to focus on solving the issue instead of lashing out. They won’t act condescendingly or try to devalue you in any way. Most importantly, they’ll reign in their anger and try to listen to your side of the story instead of just screaming.

 If someone cares about you, they won’t randomly pick fights. And they won’t get angry out of the blue.

They Don’t Accept You

Unfortunately, some people have no interest in accepting you. Instead, they’ll want to change you so that you fit whatever image they have constructed of you in their head. Or maybe they want to force you to tick the boxes on their imaginary requirements list. 

It’s about them gaslighting you and making you feel terrible about who you are. If you have a friend who doesn’t accept you, they’ll act in ways that make you feel inadequate. For example, if you show up one day with blue hair, they’ll probably make fun of you and gaslight you into dyeing it back to what they deem an acceptable color. But this is not just about something as shallow as hair color. It’s also about friends or family not accepting who you are, your dreams, or who you love.

Someone who cares will put their ideas and emotions aside if they see you happy. Say you have a good friend and share with them that you want to start a business, and it’s more of an unconventional idea. If that friend genuinely cares, they will encourage and accept you even if you have crazy dreams. And their actions will never make you feel like you must act in a specific way to warrant their love.

Many behaviors tip off what someone’s true intentions are. And it’s usually enough to allow your intuition to guide you through understanding who your true friends are. But, although it’s primarily intuitive when someone doesn’t care at all, it’s not always so clear.

Sometimes, a friend, family member, or partner might fake caring. And this isn’t always obvious, which is why some people end up being hurt by the lack of emotion and care others put into relationships.

Someone who doesn’t care about you doesn’t take the time to get to know you, not in a real sense. They don’t put any effort into their actions and sometimes don’t even communicate. The worst part is that sometimes they don’t even accept you or always seem angry with you. If you spot any of these behaviors, you might want to consider ending that relationship.

You are not alone.

Concrete Angel

Reference: www.powerofpositivity.com

Nobody should need to beg for love from their partner. Ever. Period.

 

Nobody should need to beg for love from their partner. Ever. Period.

If you must beg for love, you are in a bad relationship. This behavior isn’t something that should have to be done in any relationship. It’s a sign that your partner isn’t as dedicated as you are and that the feelings may not be equal.

A relationship is supposed to be a true partnership, and it requires two people to complete it. Both partners should work together to show affection and overcome issues. If only one partner is doing this, there is going to be a never-ending cycle of negativity.

If you find yourself in a relationship in which you have to ask for attention and affection, it’s a bad relationship. Your partner should be putting in as much energy as you are. Otherwise, you’ll be forcing the relationship along by yourself.

Aside from making you feel empty and lonely, there are many other reasons you should never beg for love. If you must beg, it’s a sign that you aren’t their priority and likely never will be. You must think first about yourself and your well-being and decide that it’s time to move on.

They Don’t Appreciate You

If you must beg, it’s a clear sign they don’t appreciate you, which means they don’t deserve you. You shouldn’t waste time praying for the love of someone who doesn’t deserve it. Eventually, someone who does appreciate you will come along and treat you the way you deserve to be.

Since your happiness is essential, you should never have to beg someone to treat you well. Instead, save your energy for someone who will never have to be asked twice to show you affection.

Begging Won’t Make Your Partner Love You

You cannot force someone to love you, and no amount of begging will change their mind. Just like with you, you can’t force an emotion to be happy. So, if this person doesn’t care to give you love, attention, or affection now, they’ll likely never care to.

It Extends Your Recovery Time

If your partner isn’t all-in, you’re going to feel sad and lonely often throughout the relationship. Eventually, the relationship will end one way or another. So, you shouldn’t spend your time being upset about the way you feel in your relationship.

You already feel bad that they aren’t giving you love and affection, so you might as well end it instead. The pain will occur in both instances, but do not force this relationship to work. Instead, move on. You will get through the hurt more quickly. By dragging the connection on any longer, you’ll only be pushing back your healing timeline.

It Can Stop You from Meeting the Right Person

When you are putting your energy into someone who doesn’t love you, you could be missing out on something better. There is, indeed, someone special out there who will love you the way you deserve to be loved. Do not let the right one pass you by because you are trying to gain the affection of someone who doesn’t want it.

If you stay in a poor relationship with someone you must beg, the right person won’t be an option. Don’t put yourself in this position because you deserve true happiness and love someday.

It Can Cause Your Self-Worth to Diminish

Your self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence will all take a massive hit if you beg for love from your partner. It’s demeaning to you, as well, and will make you feel like you are unworthy. You have to remember that you are worthy and that it is your partner’s loss.

A relationship should only make you want to be better, and it should make you happy more often than sad. It should boost your feelings of confidence and make you feel secure about who you are. It should never cause your self-worth to be diminished.

You are Perfect for Someone Else

Even though no one is perfect, you are perfect for someone. Remember this and remind yourself that if you have to beg your partner for love, you aren’t ideal for them. Don’t waste the fantastic things you have to offer on someone who doesn’t see how special you are.

Someone will want to be there for all you have to offer and for your flaws. They will love your imperfections just as much as they love everything else about you. Wait for that person who will accept everything about you and love you just the same, it’s worth it.

It Gives Your Partner the Upper Hand

When you beg for love, it makes the other person feel like they are above you. If the relationship continues after you beg, their treatment of you will only be worse because of it. The connection will never be equal, and you will always feel like something is missing.

They may use the begging against you and make it sound like they did you a favor. Or the person could even use your plea as a tool to hurt you further by creating a joke out of it. Don’t make it even easier on your partner to hurt you.

Even worse, they may use it as an opportunity to use you. They would see that you are willing to do anything to gain their love. This scenario could lead to them, making you do things you aren’t comfortable with or that make you unhappy.

You Shouldn’t Have to Prove Your Worth

If your partner doesn’t see your worth, they don’t deserve your time or energy. You are worthy of someone who wants to spend time with you and who loves you. When that special someone wants to be with you and values who you are, they will make every effort to be there.

Instead of feeling so badly in your relationship, it’s better to wait it out until someone amazing comes along. This will help your self-esteem and confidence, and it will give you the chance to meet new people.

Take this time to realize that you will find someone who values you and cherishes your time spent together. You shouldn’t beg for love, because then you’ll never know what real love is like. Someone else will cherish you the way you are looking for.

Finally, learn to love yourself. If you can truly love yourself, you won’t feel like you must beg for love from anyone. You will know your value and know that you deserve more than you are receiving. Loving yourself will help you wait for the right person to come along, and you’ll be available when they are.

If you feel like you must beg for love for your partner, you must do what is best for you. Remember to value yourself and give your time to those who willingly give their time, too. Instead, fill your life with people who love you and make you feel happy.

You deserve to be happy and to have everything you ever wanted in a relationship. If you beg for love, you aren’t getting what you wanted and what you deserve.

You are not alone.

Concrete Angel

Power of Positivity: Positive Thinking & Attitude