Survivors will find a way to move forward after domestic violence.

It might seem impossible right now, survivors, given where you are, but one day it’s entirely probable that you’ll be able to look back on the abuse you endured as just another chapter of your story, and not the entire book.

This is called closure. It doesn’t mean you’ve forgotten what happened—that’s not realistic—and it doesn’t mean you’ve forgiven your abuser. It also doesn’t mean you’ve healed completely and have no residual effects from the abuse.

What closure means to many survivors of intimate partner abuse is that they’re moving on. They’re starting anew. They’re walking themselves, scars and all, into a safer and healthier future.

This future may or may not include a new relationship. Many survivors like to take time after leaving an abusive partner to make sure they can make safe, healthy decisions about the next partner that comes their way.

To Find Closure.

“My closure came from talking with other women who had been through similar things and seeing the kind of strength that can come out of it … and learning how abusers use all their different tactics. It made me go from victim to survivor.”

“I hate thinking ‘woe is me’ so much. I’m not getting closure and I just want to help other people.”

Be it altruism, time, space or just some tough love self-talk, closure is a personal journey that can look different for every survivor. That’s why we asked our survivor or followers to share with us what worked for them after abuse.

I want to be an advocate for those who cannot advocate for themselves. My journal became a book. I allowed myself the painful process of healing and learning the importance of boundaries in every part of my life, which is hard because I’m naturally a helper to others. Allowing myself to see I was just as important as anyone I would be happy to help was key to me stepping away from that part of life and moving forward. Counseling, good friends and family reminding me I deserved better, and time has helped me. Cutting the ties and connections to all those who I have learned to realize were toxic relationships and cutting off all communication with them.

Deleting all contact information and pulling away contact from ‘his’ friends that became your friends. Unfortunately, all ties to the abuser need to be cut or moving on is very difficult.

Five Tips for Moving Forward

Looking for closure for yourself? Start with these five tips from The National Domestic Violence Hotline:

1. Cut off all contact with your abusive ex-partner. If you need to get something off your chest, write it in a letter, but don’t send it.
2. Surround yourself with support. Consider joining a support group, talking to a counselor or reaching out to a domestic violence advocate who will listen.
3. Take care of yourself.
4. Remember that you will get better with time. You don’t need to rush the healing Process.

CONCRETE ANGEL - YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

Reference: www.domesticshelters.org